The Call

speaking out
words are cold
turning away
desperate lone lingers

mulling over
wicked memories muster
thinking through
hard logic defies

giving up
heart bleeds sorrow
opting out
sanity regains

Could this be the choice
Must call my shots soon....

Patience of a Saint

Haven't been writing in a while. There's a lot to say, but just too little time to do so. I feel I am running like one headless chicken. Work is crazier than before. And the client is the craziest I've ever had so far.

Have been subjected to lots of verbal abuse by the BigBadOldWolf, a name we gave to this client. It's not just me. No one is spared. My team members and even my Boss have had their fair share of these verbal attacks.

I hate confrontations. During meetings I try so hard controlling myself and my professionalism to not go off guard. Words like "stupid", "hopeless", "crap" and many others which I don't wish to elaborate have been barraged at us as if we have only been in the business just yesterday.

Seriously, I have worked with many people - politicians, corporate figures, government officials but none as crazy as this one. It's so depressing attending meetings and being bombed left, right, front and centre for blunders which are not caused by us. The dark side of me is sending provoke messages like - "screw being civil, let's bang on tables and shout profanities till we run out of them all."

But, I don't want to do that and most importantly, nothing will be solved when anger takes control. Plus, getting mad is tiring and I certainly don't want to make a fool out of myself.

Touch wood, I have managed to defuse these roiling emotions. But the question is, until when? Each time after my solats I ask guidance from Almighty to help me cripple these bad, bad vibes and show me light at the end of the tunnel.

Message in my head for BigBadOldWolf...grrr

Each day I constantly remind myself of these words by Sunil Mangwani - have patience of a saint and the discipline of a soldier.

Insha'Allah (إن شاء الله) God willing, I try.

S.I.C.K

Apa yang dilafaz itu adalah doa - yes, I believe in this. Bukan apa, tu lah semalam tulis lagi comments kat FB - “sick to the bones”. Hah...today, dapat cash...sick terus!

I couldn't for the life of me open my eyes this morning. Plain exhaustion plus pure annoyance too. Annoyed bukan dengan sesiapa pun. Annoyed with myself was more like it. I over looked my checklist and missed preparing one document for an important meeting. Yikessss.....sungguh lah tak seronok being put in a difficult situation. It wasn't like I was careless or anything. How else could I remind myself? I remembered saving my tasks and appointments in BB, but this particular one, adeiiii....it just slipped my mind! Anyway, thank God I didn't get into much trouble and boleh nego deadline lagi tu. Ha ha ha...siapa boss ni? Me or the client? I guess when they saw this pitiful face they just didn't have the heart to push too much...kot...kot lah eh.

Exhaustion + Annoyance = SICK = today work from home (yeahhhhh suka...coz no need to drive that 38km to CJ)

So who says being sick has no rewards?

Actually I forgot doing a few other tasks over the weekend too. Err correction, paraphrase that – I selectively did what I liked doing and left what I didn't fancy doing aside. Guess that's the leeway one has when one is both the maid and the maam. Tapi yang tak boleh ampun was when Abe came back and said, “You forgot to get the cat food. Pi shopping benda lain ingat...” Adei....that hurts!! Actually I did ask Nissa to remind me about food for them furry kiddos. Tapi Nissa pun sama naik thrilled mall hopping (and having scrumptious food spread at iftar) that she forgot to remind me. Anyway, the little ones had to puasa a little longer than us coz we only got food for them after terawih. Merajuk dah they all sampai ada yang ran up the roof. Nasib baik she came down, if not nak kena call the firemen to help.

Ohhh no need lah that unnecessary attention and excitement for both tuan kucing and kucing di bulan yang mulia ini kannn....and if sick tu better buat cara sick. Put the BB aside and let the emails bertubi-tubi masuk and later later lah baru reply, betul tak??

Then again after much deliberation, ada berani nak response late to those emails??

July

July wishlist
*come home early from work
*catch up with house work
*try new bake recipes
*finish reading the Twilight series
*more time to myself -spa, facial etc
*prepare for Ramadhan
*and go for a quick RT maybe.....

Wishes, Plans and Hopes

If wishes worked like magic
And plans walked the intent
If grants were immediately accorded
And hopes did not feather away

Heart would be fulfilled
Spirits would meander happily
Prayers would be answered
Life would be complete

Sebak dadaku
Retak hatiku
Luka jiwaku
Dihiris pilu

Beribu sesalanku.......

To Flag Off

I am walking to the flag off area as I type this entry. The Dataran Merdeka area is packed with "green" people. Everyone looks so happy, and so "gung ho" too.

Nervous? Yes, a little bit. I feel I have not trained enough. Should have started training earlier and go to the gym to work out more often.

Duhhh....what if I tak larat later?? Malu je kan.....Tak pe lah - this is my first time. I'm gonna be running alone.....sob...sob. When I signed up, I checked if anyone else in the house wanted to come along. Unfortunately, no one was game. And ada juga yang doubt if I could ever get to the finish line.

It's ok, we shall see what happens later. Wish me luck ya :)

Almost there dah..I could see the flag off stage already. And I could feel my heart beating much faster now.

Mobile toilets and folks queuing for that morning ease

Flag off area...look towards the blue arch like balloons.

Sent via Kay's Berry

It's THE Day

It's a very early start on Sunday for me. Woke up at 5am and was out of the house by 6. Am already in the lrt. Destination - Masjid Jamek stop. From there on, I'll have to walk a bit to the flag off area which is near the Tugu Negara.

Ohhh...yes, I am all set for this - the Standard Charted KL Marathon. Signed up for this event sometime back. I'll be taking part in the 5km Fun Run. Excited dah ni!!

More folks in green have boarded the train now. It was announced in the SCKLM website that 22,000 people have signed up for this event. Woootsssss.....and I'm one of them. Simply cool, isn't it?

The train is almost approaching KL Sentral station. One more stop and next will be Masjid Jamek. Gotta go now. Will try to post more stories later.

My outfit all color coordinated - shades of green :)

Sent via Kay's Berry