Shooting Strays

It all started when I saw a picture of a relative getting married on FB. Well, there was nothing wrong with the ceremony. In fact in my heart I was saying, "Bagus lah....dia pun dah duda lama..."

Ajal, maut, jodoh pertemuan are all in the hands of God Almighty. We can't fight it - not a minute late or early. That's how death is, we believe. And we also believe that it's already written in us who our life partners are and how long would the partnership last. Till death do us part or till "others" split us apart - cliche, but true kan!

Coming back to this relative who got married. Fate had it that he was to lose his wife to the big C. About a year ago, just after Christmas, Kak J succumbed to her sufferings. She died of lung cancer. She was very, very nice lady and I am sure she is missed dearly by her children and other members in the family.

Upon seeing the FB posting, I told Abe about the wedding, even forwarded the picture on BBM. Can't quite recall what was his response. But biasa lah Abe being Abe...benda-benda like this dia tak ambik port sangat. Oh well...that's what I thought.....

That night I threw a question at Nissa. Asked her if I passed on and if her dad wanted to remarry, what would her reaction be. Her reply was, "okay".

Huh??? Lame as it may sound, but okay??? Just plain OKAY??? You mean you wouldn't even going to question who your new mom is, can she scrub bathrooms like I do, would she be able to spot that small stain on the dinner plate and have it cleaned again etc etc. Most importantly are you really, really sure you didn't mind a step mom???

What was earlier an uncomplicated line of questioning has become an I-wanna-hear-my-kind-of-answer type of inquiry. Great....now the poor girl was confused. And the dad was some what furious over my picking on Nissa for an answer that was to be music to my own ears. And I was not happy not getting those words from her (perhaps she was also picking on me, who knows!).

Duhh.....just what was wrong with me?? Why was I so "angry bird" like?? Or was it that PMS thingy that is almost due? But then if it was just PMS, I wouldn't have mentioned writing of a will to my sister, would it?

I know...I know I need to go dunk that EPO to keep those straying hormones back in order....sigh.

Sent from my iPad

Patience of a Saint

Haven't been writing in a while. There's a lot to say, but just too little time to do so. I feel I am running like one headless chicken. Work is crazier than before. And the client is the craziest I've ever had so far.

Have been subjected to lots of verbal abuse by the BigBadOldWolf, a name we gave to this client. It's not just me. No one is spared. My team members and even my Boss have had their fair share of these verbal attacks.

I hate confrontations. During meetings I try so hard controlling myself and my professionalism to not go off guard. Words like "stupid", "hopeless", "crap" and many others which I don't wish to elaborate have been barraged at us as if we have only been in the business just yesterday.

Seriously, I have worked with many people - politicians, corporate figures, government officials but none as crazy as this one. It's so depressing attending meetings and being bombed left, right, front and centre for blunders which are not caused by us. The dark side of me is sending provoke messages like - "screw being civil, let's bang on tables and shout profanities till we run out of them all."

But, I don't want to do that and most importantly, nothing will be solved when anger takes control. Plus, getting mad is tiring and I certainly don't want to make a fool out of myself.

Touch wood, I have managed to defuse these roiling emotions. But the question is, until when? Each time after my solats I ask guidance from Almighty to help me cripple these bad, bad vibes and show me light at the end of the tunnel.

Message in my head for BigBadOldWolf...grrr

Each day I constantly remind myself of these words by Sunil Mangwani - have patience of a saint and the discipline of a soldier.

Insha'Allah (إن شاء الله) God willing, I try.

Wedding Karaoke

A neighbor across the road is holding a wedding reception tonight. The pretty decorated tents have attracted many passers-by since yesterday. The reception surely looked very grand.

It rained earlier in the afternoon. Saw the caterers running halter skelter saving the chairs from getting soaked during the downpour. Anyway, I bet the family must be very relieved with the clear skies tonight. As I write this posting I see guests are queueing at the buffet line for the nasi minyak and lauk pauk that come as company.

Like most weddings these days, there is light entertainment to give the occasion a more festive feeling. From our living room, we could hear the different voices taking turns passing the mike around karaoke-ing to the available minus1 music. Live singing, well, I am okay with that. Sounds pretty nice, even though some sounded really, really pitchy. It's okay lah I guess...nyanyi suka-suka to keep the bride and groom happy and entertained.

But what I noticed was the selection of songs. Ohhhh.....they were such old numbers. Some yang I have never heard before pun ada. If I hadn't heard of them, I bet the guests who are much, much younger had been astounded listening to them as well!

With that I tell myself to make this mental note - to start compiling my own list of songs - retro, contemporary, oldies but not moldies for such occasions. A wise thing to start working on, don't you think so? You'll never know when it's gonna come handy kannnn.....

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Jika Kau Bercinta Lagi

It was a popular hang out place for students after school; well at least for those who loved music - yours truly included. On days when I had extra classes, I'd gobble down lunch, the usual nyonya curry laksa as fast as I could. Once done, with my two best friends, we would happily walk out the school compound, cross the busy streets, braved the blazing afternoon sun to get to Kedai Music Harmony. Our SPM exam was only months away. There were loads of revisions to get started on and a quick escapade was extremely essential (for the soul...he he) before we loath ourselves with those we-cannot-relate-to-Physics/Chemistry/Bio-topics. Arghhh...torture!!

Had it been my choice, I would be the first to sign up to be in the Arts Stream. But at that time, Arts was a big no-no! Not when the teachers saw you as the “science material”.

Anyway, I digress. Now back to my main story....the music shop.

Ten minutes - that was enough lepak time we needed before we headed back to doing the laborious exam revisions. Once we walked into the shop, Benjy – this lower six guy who manned the music console would wave friendlily at us.

My usual greetings was, “Aihh...your Mama not here ah?”

He shook his head, signaling that the coast was clear for us to be up with our routine antics. Benjy always looked timid whenever his mama was around. He would keep his distance from us if she was in sight. We later knew reasons to his inconsistent hot and cold treatment towards us. Benjy was an orphan and he was adopted by the fierce nyonya boss.

“Lagu apa? Only five minutes ah.” shouted Benjy from behind the music console.

The multisonous Mandarin number easily drowned his voice. I winked at him and shouted back, “Ahhh...yang biasa lahh.”

Dee, my friend would give me a friendly punch and meekly say this to me, “Kau kawin je lah dengan Benjy ni. Asyik nak dengar lagu tu bila datang sini, bosan aku!!”

“Ishhh ada pulak kau ni. Kau ingat dia nak "potong" ker??!!” and we burst into loud laughter afterwards. Benjy would turn at us. I suspected he knew what caused us the chuckles. But he played along, such a spot that fella was.

Sal, the shy one amongst us was already cringing at one far corner in the shop. We always said that she'd one day marry an Ustaz and live in Egypt with her trailer of kids. Sal knew us too well to take our remarks to the heart. Her usual response was, “Tak baik kau orang. Buatnya aku kawin dengan si footballer tu...hah...kau orang sure jealous kan...”

“Tak habis-habis berangan kau ni, si footballer tu dah ada girlfriend lah,” I reminded Sal each time her fancies of the neighbouring all boys school lead striker went astray.

“Dah, dah, dengar je lah lagu yang kau suruh Benjy mainkan tu. Class is starting jap lagi and we better leave before Mak dia balik from lunch jap lagi.” A stern cry came from Dee and next came David and Loga's crispy clear voice from that Bose audio system.

“Jika kau bercinta lagiiiii.........”

Ahh...Alleycatssssssss......simply awesome, awe-inspiring and heart melting – always have been and always will be.

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The Waves and Her

I was doing house keeping onto my external hard disk when I found these pictures of Nissa during our trip to Kuantan in May. Being a newbie with Abe's DSLR, I thought I had accidentally deleted these pictures when I meddled with its memory card.

Perhaps I did fumble with the camera somehow, but I must have forgotten that I made back ups onto my hard disk as well.

Yeahhh...so happy I found them :)

Mom...can i go in?

Waves were big...and that got her a bit scared to venture further

Testing her footing

Waves treading...and she liked it

I'm all wet...don't mind me please

But, I'm having so much fun...

coz I have company....

I am all soaked!!

Oppss...more waves coming my way...

Scrammmm....

Nissa's wish list - how I wish my Mommy would allow me to be beach bummers like these.....

Justifying to her dad why she was all wet!!

Whatever it was.....peace y'all :))

Raya Reflections

Like previous years, this year's Raya celebration wasn't any different. Went home to my mother's place in Seremban on the eve of Eid, visited my in laws and went back on the second day to visit relatives in our kampung in Kuala Pilah. Hectic but enough fun for the children - catching up with their cousins and relatives from near and far.

During my Raya visits, as we traveled the long winding road to where kampung really is - Kuala Pilah, as the serene and calm atmosphere of life in the village came into view, I got to thinking – what if there was a swap? Instead of me visiting relatives in the kampung, it was me they were visiting. It was me tucked in the traditional kampung house. How different would life be? Instead of attending to clients in corporate office, I was now tending to chickens and ducks.

If I lived here, what would I look like? And how is my lifestyle?

Funny that some of these thoughts came in to mind at this juncture in my life. It had been a rough month in a couple of ways. So many challenges I am faced both at work and home front brought me to thinking of the what if's. These events occur – causing me to stop, reflect and re-evaluate the many facets in my life that I have comprised.

As we visited one relative's house to the next, I felt a bit sad. Although the old kampung house looked the same, but as faith had it, we had lost a number of our dear ones. An aunt spoke very dearly of her husband who had passed on two years ago. I recall those early days in my marriage when the couple used to fuss over lemang and rendang during our Raya visit and how they insisted that we had enough to feast ourselves plus packed some home later. They were simple folks but they sure had such a big heart.

Then we met another aunt who has been providing loyal care to her ill husband. The old man who is almost 80 now, suffers from diabetes and selective amnesia. It isn't easy she said but she is left with no other choice. Tempers would flare once in a while but one could see that she's not going anywhere but be with her man – in sickness or in health till death do them part, remember?

I wonder had it been me – would I be able do it? Would I be as loyal as my aunt? Would I be willing to sacrifice my own physical and emotional needs? Will there be feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, isolation, exhaustion? And how would I deal with it?

Now, reflecting back on all the choices I made in life, I hoped these choices will help make bring happiness and contentment. I know some have and some not – well maybe not yet. I tell myself that occasionally, events will occur. And during these periods I may need to re-evaluate and re-prioritize things, abandon what does not belong or is making life difficult and stressful, and seek out what truly matters.

If we didn't give it a try we would never know, would we?

Kids@Raya

Kids are the happiest at Raya - always. They get to meet up, play, sleep, eat together and the occasional sibling fights don't bother them much. Year in year out, I'm glad we still have the youngins running around, bemusing us at Raya. But this won't be long till they catch up with gadgets whatnots and soon forget about their creative play.

Kidnapping in progress - "guns" included

Kidnappers on the loose

Emergency call....ambulance drivers and "doctors" on call

The duo whose ambitions are scientist and egyptologist - treating the poor boy who was down with measles.

Duhh....this must have been a real crisis....

Let's see what happens when we dress up lil cousin....

Oopsss...wardrobe failure!!

The imaginative stock market....buy, buy, buy!!

Lipton ice tea advert...take 21!

Roll the camera.....

We are tired...let's see if the iPad allows us to order pizza

"Don't I simply love raya??" must be on his mind

I love you bro so let me help u with your baju....

Sent via Kay's Berry