Jika Kau Bercinta Lagi

It was a popular hang out place for students after school; well at least for those who loved music - yours truly included. On days when I had extra classes, I'd gobble down lunch, the usual nyonya curry laksa as fast as I could. Once done, with my two best friends, we would happily walk out the school compound, cross the busy streets, braved the blazing afternoon sun to get to Kedai Music Harmony. Our SPM exam was only months away. There were loads of revisions to get started on and a quick escapade was extremely essential (for the soul...he he) before we loath ourselves with those we-cannot-relate-to-Physics/Chemistry/Bio-topics. Arghhh...torture!!

Had it been my choice, I would be the first to sign up to be in the Arts Stream. But at that time, Arts was a big no-no! Not when the teachers saw you as the “science material”.

Anyway, I digress. Now back to my main story....the music shop.

Ten minutes - that was enough lepak time we needed before we headed back to doing the laborious exam revisions. Once we walked into the shop, Benjy – this lower six guy who manned the music console would wave friendlily at us.

My usual greetings was, “Aihh...your Mama not here ah?”

He shook his head, signaling that the coast was clear for us to be up with our routine antics. Benjy always looked timid whenever his mama was around. He would keep his distance from us if she was in sight. We later knew reasons to his inconsistent hot and cold treatment towards us. Benjy was an orphan and he was adopted by the fierce nyonya boss.

“Lagu apa? Only five minutes ah.” shouted Benjy from behind the music console.

The multisonous Mandarin number easily drowned his voice. I winked at him and shouted back, “Ahhh...yang biasa lahh.”

Dee, my friend would give me a friendly punch and meekly say this to me, “Kau kawin je lah dengan Benjy ni. Asyik nak dengar lagu tu bila datang sini, bosan aku!!”

“Ishhh ada pulak kau ni. Kau ingat dia nak "potong" ker??!!” and we burst into loud laughter afterwards. Benjy would turn at us. I suspected he knew what caused us the chuckles. But he played along, such a spot that fella was.

Sal, the shy one amongst us was already cringing at one far corner in the shop. We always said that she'd one day marry an Ustaz and live in Egypt with her trailer of kids. Sal knew us too well to take our remarks to the heart. Her usual response was, “Tak baik kau orang. Buatnya aku kawin dengan si footballer tu...hah...kau orang sure jealous kan...”

“Tak habis-habis berangan kau ni, si footballer tu dah ada girlfriend lah,” I reminded Sal each time her fancies of the neighbouring all boys school lead striker went astray.

“Dah, dah, dengar je lah lagu yang kau suruh Benjy mainkan tu. Class is starting jap lagi and we better leave before Mak dia balik from lunch jap lagi.” A stern cry came from Dee and next came David and Loga's crispy clear voice from that Bose audio system.

“Jika kau bercinta lagiiiii.........”

Ahh...Alleycatssssssss......simply awesome, awe-inspiring and heart melting – always have been and always will be.

Sent from my iPad

The Waves and Her

I was doing house keeping onto my external hard disk when I found these pictures of Nissa during our trip to Kuantan in May. Being a newbie with Abe's DSLR, I thought I had accidentally deleted these pictures when I meddled with its memory card.

Perhaps I did fumble with the camera somehow, but I must have forgotten that I made back ups onto my hard disk as well.

Yeahhh...so happy I found them :)

Mom...can i go in?

Waves were big...and that got her a bit scared to venture further

Testing her footing

Waves treading...and she liked it

I'm all wet...don't mind me please

But, I'm having so much fun...

coz I have company....

I am all soaked!!

Oppss...more waves coming my way...

Scrammmm....

Nissa's wish list - how I wish my Mommy would allow me to be beach bummers like these.....

Justifying to her dad why she was all wet!!

Whatever it was.....peace y'all :))

Raya Reflections

Like previous years, this year's Raya celebration wasn't any different. Went home to my mother's place in Seremban on the eve of Eid, visited my in laws and went back on the second day to visit relatives in our kampung in Kuala Pilah. Hectic but enough fun for the children - catching up with their cousins and relatives from near and far.

During my Raya visits, as we traveled the long winding road to where kampung really is - Kuala Pilah, as the serene and calm atmosphere of life in the village came into view, I got to thinking – what if there was a swap? Instead of me visiting relatives in the kampung, it was me they were visiting. It was me tucked in the traditional kampung house. How different would life be? Instead of attending to clients in corporate office, I was now tending to chickens and ducks.

If I lived here, what would I look like? And how is my lifestyle?

Funny that some of these thoughts came in to mind at this juncture in my life. It had been a rough month in a couple of ways. So many challenges I am faced both at work and home front brought me to thinking of the what if's. These events occur – causing me to stop, reflect and re-evaluate the many facets in my life that I have comprised.

As we visited one relative's house to the next, I felt a bit sad. Although the old kampung house looked the same, but as faith had it, we had lost a number of our dear ones. An aunt spoke very dearly of her husband who had passed on two years ago. I recall those early days in my marriage when the couple used to fuss over lemang and rendang during our Raya visit and how they insisted that we had enough to feast ourselves plus packed some home later. They were simple folks but they sure had such a big heart.

Then we met another aunt who has been providing loyal care to her ill husband. The old man who is almost 80 now, suffers from diabetes and selective amnesia. It isn't easy she said but she is left with no other choice. Tempers would flare once in a while but one could see that she's not going anywhere but be with her man – in sickness or in health till death do them part, remember?

I wonder had it been me – would I be able do it? Would I be as loyal as my aunt? Would I be willing to sacrifice my own physical and emotional needs? Will there be feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, isolation, exhaustion? And how would I deal with it?

Now, reflecting back on all the choices I made in life, I hoped these choices will help make bring happiness and contentment. I know some have and some not – well maybe not yet. I tell myself that occasionally, events will occur. And during these periods I may need to re-evaluate and re-prioritize things, abandon what does not belong or is making life difficult and stressful, and seek out what truly matters.

If we didn't give it a try we would never know, would we?

Kids@Raya

Kids are the happiest at Raya - always. They get to meet up, play, sleep, eat together and the occasional sibling fights don't bother them much. Year in year out, I'm glad we still have the youngins running around, bemusing us at Raya. But this won't be long till they catch up with gadgets whatnots and soon forget about their creative play.

Kidnapping in progress - "guns" included

Kidnappers on the loose

Emergency call....ambulance drivers and "doctors" on call

The duo whose ambitions are scientist and egyptologist - treating the poor boy who was down with measles.

Duhh....this must have been a real crisis....

Let's see what happens when we dress up lil cousin....

Oopsss...wardrobe failure!!

The imaginative stock market....buy, buy, buy!!

Lipton ice tea advert...take 21!

Roll the camera.....

We are tired...let's see if the iPad allows us to order pizza

"Don't I simply love raya??" must be on his mind

I love you bro so let me help u with your baju....

Sent via Kay's Berry

Tiada Tiga Kata

When you notice a colleague's BB status with disturbing lines, you can't help but wonder about what was going on. Just before Raya, she had this as her status – HELL Raya. And then two days ago, she changed it to this – Too Much Hatred. Early yesterday, these two words appeared on her profile status – Nervous Breakdown.

I normally do not like to interfere with things like these. But as a close friend, I felt I should check on how she was doing. And I did.....and the story wasn't pleasant.

Dee (not her real name) was a colleague from my previous work place. When I left, she was the one who took over my responsibilities. Her diligence, strong and yet pleasant personality had help pushed her to the position where she is right now in the company. Obviously with the more money she brings home, she had more responsibilities to look into.

Dee's reply to my BBM last night didn't come in right away. I assumed she was okay and there was nothing very alarming with what I saw on her BB status. Again, I was wrong.

A call came in about an hour later and it was Dee on the other line. She was gasping for air and I could hardly hear her. Her usual happy voice was no longer distinct and all I heard was her in between sobs saying “It's over...”

I had suspected it was matters of the heart that is bugging her. Unfortunately, I guessed it right this time.

“Is it Raz?” I asked her. And she replied, “Yes.”

I questioned her, “He left?”

“Yes....he's gone. He left the house a while ago. And he took his stuff with him too.” said Dee.

“Perhaps he's off for work out station?" I probed further.

“No....he's really, really gone this time. He told me so.” said Dee in between sobs.

I paused for a while. Didn't know what to think and how to react. Dee wasn't the first of my friends whose marriage has succumbed to a no-go-grid-lock. Last December a school mate lost her husband for 25 years to a younger woman. Sigh....

There wasn't much I could offer Dee since it was already late. I promised her to meet up with her later today. It's so sad to see a once happy family falling apart.

What's becoming of us......double sigh......

Mungkinkah kerna kita dah terlalu selesa
Keintiman seolah semakin hambar
Dari gerak gaya
Hingga ke tutur kata
Tak menggambarkan cinta

Unsettled Heart

Someone told me last night that her heart was unsettled. I told her to let the feeling pass - accept the truth, bite the bitter facts. Not easy but why worry so much. It will only hurt her more.

She said it felt like there was a pit in her stomach. There was something that need to be said and some things shouldn't have been said. She shared that there is something yet to be done, a problem to solve, a situation to clean up.

Now, there is guilt and shame. And anger has set in....

Dear friend.....be strong. HE will watch over you. HE will not let the sun harm you by day, nor the moon by night. Have faith. HE will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Post Holiday Blues

As always, it was a scram this morning; but there was a bit more chaos than usual. My parking card was missing, the shoes was not in the car, Nissa's hair clip was no where on the dressing table, her school tie was still loose and flimsy. The last blow was, after I had locked the doors, I realised that my BB was left on the bed. Urghhh....how to survive the day without BB??? That left me with no choice but to unlock the doors and enter the house again to get my BB. A good 5 minutes delay that was. Thank God there was gas in the car. Else I would have screamed my lungs and this angry bird would have started tweeting in caps and bold to someone's BB.

Hence, everything spelt s.t.r.e.s.s - sprinkled with Monday blues, equating to zero tolerance level.

The drive to work was however a bliss. Roads were still clear and parking was empty too. I hesitated for a couple of seconds in the lift – trying to recall which floor I was to get out at. Ever since the move to this new office, the pressing of the number in the lift is no longer automatic (ummppp...I just wonder why is that so?)

As expected the office is still empty; many are still on extended Raya leave with the majority only returning to work on Wednesday. Wahhh...so long leave ka?? I had wanted to say my peace about my staff taking long raya leave, but I took a step back and thought again and finally I decided to just let it be. I may not have the need to balik kampung over such a long stretch (like some of them do) as kampung is only 45 mins drive from my base and balik kampung is just mild effort after all for me. But others whose kampungs are so far away, they may want to spend a longer time with the family. Noted on that.

But a while ago, after going through the emails, I thought again - perhaps, perhaps I should have relook at resource allocation again. Too late now, anyway.

Suddenly a cacophony of lines from P.Ramlee's movie came clattering, “Aikkk marah??? Kalau marah nanti kena jual.....”

So boss ni marah?? Takkkkk tak marahhhh......cuti laaaa...tak pe cuti laaaa.....

Tak pe lah since staff cuti, boss kerja lahh (sekuat-kuat hati....)