Thursday, June 17, 2010

Sue's Sufferings

It is heart wrenching every time I catch a glimpse of her. Her sadness was observable, no matter how hard she tries to hide. The always so jovial Sue, has suddenly become tight lipped, keeping very much to herself. There have been mornings when Sue walked in with bloodshot eyes; an indication that she was probably crying the entire night.

Many a times I wanted to walk to her, wrap her in a hug and let her know that she has me by her side lending the listening ears. Even a shoulder to cry on if she wanted, but I just didn’t know what muzzled me. We would pass each other along the corridor, her gloom eyes meeting mine, signaling the troubled heart. There was only exchange of glances, no words. It was as if we were total strangers, when in actual fact we are not.

It hurts me inside that I couldn’t reach out to her now. It hurts me bad knowing we have walled up the emotions between us. We used to be bosom chums; inseparable through thick or thin. But it took only one careless action to distance the closeness once shared.

Why Sue…why? Why shun me?

These were the emotions shared with me during a counseling session with a subordinate sometime back. This morning the girl came to me in tears, telling me that Sue is gone!!

Sue died over the weekend, in a motor accident apparently. The vehicle was a total wreck; a wrecked and mangled of body mass, manifesting Sue’s state of mind, I imagine. As I stood still to regain my composure, tears welled up my eyes. Visual flashes of Sue’s sufferings caused the world around me to slowly spin. I saw stars; no….correction, I think what I saw Sue’s sad, lost soul, looking for the love she never received.


Through our glazed stares, we both ponder upon the sequence of events that happened earlier with much disbelief. The lost is apparent – for both of us, even with my shriveled knowledge of Sue.

Sue – not her real name

9 comments:

mamasita said...

I'm so very sad to read your entry today..AlFatihah to her soul.

Only God knows how many Sues are walking around and carrying on in pain.

zaitgha said...

Sorry to hear about this and i can feel u there.....take care ....

Kak Ezza@makcik blogger said...

Sedih!

kay_leeda said...

Dear Mamasita,

There are many Sues like this out there. In fact there is a "Sue" in each of us. Such is life...

You have a beautiful weekend yes :)

kay_leeda said...

Dear Zai,

Thanks friend, you read me well. Have a good weekend and happy baking!

kay_leeda said...

Dear Kak Ezza,

Sob...sob...memang sedih. Ni lah yg dikatakan roda-roda kehidupan, penuh suka, luka, gembira gelak tawa.

Tommy Yewfigure said...

Dear Kay,

I’m truly sorry for the lost of your friend Sue in such a tragic way. To all potential Sue out there, you’ll always have your fair share of ups & downs in life but you’ll always have someone to turn to in times of sorrow or depression. Life is beautiful, so don’t waste it by ending it so abruptly. There’s always hope & someone close that’ll listen & care.

Take it easy.

Tommy

kay_leeda said...

Dear Bro Tommy,

This happened sometime back but images of Sue keeps coming back. Perhaps a reminder of how precious life is, and to accept the bumps and hurdles that come with it.

Many Sues out there are afraid to share what's in their hearts and allow pain to eat them up. Easier said than done, but life threatening knots is imminent and no means what so ever to untie them :(

Wait lah maybe one day I'll share Sue's story.

Hey...we are not gonna head the weekend on a sad note yar.

You have a wonderful weekend Sir. What shall it be? Waka..waka?? Cheers :)

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Oh dear... Al Fatihah..