February in March

It would make a good movie title this "February in March". Gosh...this hiatus is a long one; Sembang is so, so neglected. I have been extremely occupied with work, work and more work. It sounds so cliche, I know, but that's how my life has been these last few weeks.

To tell you the truth, I am exasperated. On the work front, as projects are merrily coming in, I just don't want to be accountable for anymore deliverables and I want to throw away my project manager hat. I just want to sit and do nothing for a change......

But boleh ke?? Perhaps I could, but I know for sure I'll be bored to death just not doing anything. So, never complain lah kan.....

Anyway, I have digressed. Guess that's what happens to you when you haven't been writing long - you tend to pour your heart, never mind if it makes no sense to anyone else.

Okay...back to the title.

February....it was such a short month. The 28 days went flying unnoticed. Many good things happened to me in February but I can't recollect all for this blog. Pathetic kan.....

There were two birthdays that fell in February, one was Faris' and the other was mine. Both days came and went in a blink. There was a brief celebration - nothing either one of us would shout about. Went out for makan and cake pun baked sendiri. Creative? Err...call it doing things different from the previous years.

There were no pictures. Semua orang pun dah malas nak gi snap, snap away. Go eat, catch up on things, dah kenyang, back home and rest. Sounds really ordinary kan?

And yes, just before my birthday it was Valentine's day yang none of us felt like celebrating. Ada yang kata, V-day has got to do with Christianity and ada yang refute. Had I written this piece in February itself, I would have said more. But now, almost a month later...??? Biar je lah senyap ...biar je lah berlalu.....

And it was in February that I started my morning walk routine - more serious this time around. Doing between 3.0 to 3.5 kms per day, gave me the extra push to get myself going. Must continue doing this and must not let work get in the way.

In February, a few of us at work kicked start our Wednesday aerobics class. Haaaa.....THIS was a killer!! But we all knew this was the kind of "kick" we needed and sweat it out we did! (tapi tak gak kurus-kurus...hu hu)

So these were some significant milestones in February. That's two months down and another 10 to go in the year. At the rate we are going, December will be just round the corner and 2011 will draw its curtains.

Jadi...itu lah cerita nya with February. Rather mundane, don't you thing so?

Now the big question which I know many are asking - how old this year?
Okay lah yang ni tak perlu nak berahsia.....anak lelaki is 22 and mak budak lelaki tu 47 dah ni!!

Hahh...the cat is out dah!!

Prezzies pulak??

Got myself this toy to replace the cranky ole STORM.

Sent by Kay's Berry

Journey West

It was the last week of summer they said. The season when you are to show it all, bare it all. But that wasn’t so for this small town girl. Each breeze in the blowing winds felt chilly; causing her to shiver every time she stepped out from her temporary home. Disoriented still from jet lag after flying almost half way across the globe only in the pursuit of education, she knew she had to snap out fast. She was on a foreign land now. Only two days and she was already missing home. So contrary from that not so long ago excitement she felt when receiving news that she was accepted to further her studies in Land of the Free – the USA.

The State Capitol building in downtown Madison.

She had prayed hard that she would be the one with luck on her side to be selected for a scholarship to study abroad. Her grades were just average. Yes, she had scores of A’s but there were many others whom she was sure had done better than her. She longed to experience the four seasons, to have clothes matching the different colours of the seasons, to travel and to experience life in a new place. Most of all she told herself she must fulfill the promise she made to her father of wanting to return with her scroll.

She believed it was during her interview that she excelled. The panel was impressed – that she could tell. The stern looking panel which consisted of reps from various scholarship agencies – seated in rank from best to the least favourite. Of course everyone was placing bets on having his college education paid by the prestigious oil company or the electricity company. She was informed that if she was keen at doing engineering, her chances would be better at landing into the bigger and better nets. She didn’t mind which net she landed herself into – what’s most important was that she secured a scholarship.

The wait after the interview was agonizing. Many thoughts ran though her mind. What if she the panel didn’t see her potentials, what if others knocked her out cold. She was restless and the world seemed to close up on her. Just to be safe, she submitted applications to a few local universities – UTM, ITM (now UiTM) and UM to pursue courses she couldn’t recall anymore now. Her heart was aching with pain as these places were none of her liking. All she wanted to do was board the airplane and fly away into her own world. She had never prayed so hard before and asked for God to grant her wish.

And one fine day the long awaited envelope arrived. Calls made to some friends earlier put her heart to pitter-patter. Many had managed to secure scholarships and were due to fly off soon. What about her? What would her faith be?

Some 28 years ago, at the airport with family before her departure for the States

She could still remember reading the letter – it said “something….something…something….the UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN MADISON USA”. Yes….yes…yes….she did it. She had managed to secure her scholarship and she would be off soon. When she was more calm, she re-read the government sealed letter. In it she was given all terms and conditions on the scholarship offered.

And that was how it was. From then on, there was no turning back. She couldn’t thank enough of her teachers’ fine words of encouragement, her family and relatives hopes and aspirations of her success. Most of all she must be truthful to herself and she must never ever disappoint her parents.

Transit in London before boarding Northwest Airlines to O'Hare Chicago.
The longest flight we ever took.
KL (with stops in Dubai & Frankfurt) - Heathrow London - O'Hare Chicago - Madison WI

She knew challenges up ahead were aplenty and starting college in this new country was a big milestone in her life. It was a big step, a giant move towards independence and no chilly wind or powerful blizzard could hamper the goals she set that very moment the DC10 gained speed on the airport runway as it started its journey west.

March vs February

February was fabulous; with long weekends of back to back public holidays and bi-weekly birthday celebrations, I couldn't have asked for more. My March, however, is not going to fair equally, this was confirmed when I plotted appointment and event dates in my schedule. March is going to be a mad, mad month.

When 1st March came knocking early in the week, it didn't quite roll in right for me. I had one of my worst migraine attacks and had to stay home to nurse the grueling, throbbing pain. Went to see the doctor for medication to help clear the head banging. Together with the drugs, came a long lecture about rest and exercise and what nots. Yes, I know everything she said was absolutely right. Must listen to her...must be dead serious about taking things easy now.

Alarmed by the pain I was experiencing, I got the doctor to do me a blood test. Cholesterol, diabetes and hypertension were my main concern and if there was something not right, I'd want to be in the know. The doctor got two small tubes of my blood and later informed that results would be available on the following day. In the meantime, relax, take things easy and wait - that was what she told me to do.

The next 24 hours wasn't at all comforting, kept thinking how the result would fair. Anxious, edgy and agonized, that was how I felt the entire day. Tried to have positive thoughts but intermittently depressing images came bothering.

Though I was eager to know, I felt the need to fully prepare myself of the outcome - good or bad. I gave myself some cooling off time before heading back to the doctor's clinic. And it was only today; four days later, I finally gathered my guts and collected my health "report card".

How did I fair?? Good actually; despite all my worrisome imaginations, I passed with flying colours . Sugar level was good, cholesterol level - normal, kidney function - good and there were no symptoms of hypertension detected. Alhamdulillah.....fuhhh legaaa.

So, what next? A full medical, that was her advice. Alright, doc I'll get that done too; after all prevention is better than cure, don't you think so?

Note to Myself....

It’s two minutes into the day and yeah…it’s my birthday!! Another year has passed so quickly. Eventful, stressful, packed with triumphs and tribulations but all in all, Alhamdulillah, God bless, it was a wonderful year.

I turn 45 on this very day. Some people may dread this milestone, as it's kind of neither there nor here at the 40 & 50 age marker. But it really hasn’t been that big of a deal for me. I suppose birthdays are a natural time to reflect upon where you're at and what you're doing.

This last year, its full depth and breadth of the 365 days, has been a great year to reflect upon. All the hard work I’ve been doing over the last few years is progressing great. I’m incredibly overjoyed knowing that my friends and family are all healthy and well and are living lovely lives. I am feeling fitter and stronger than I have in a few years, and am looking forward to feeling even better in the future.

I’m pretty happy with where I am. It’s so cliche, I know, but I feel like I have so much ahead of me. There are so many exciting things happening in the world and so many opportunities to help people learn. I’m glad to have my place in all of it, at least until things change again and I go off on my next adventure.



My hopes for the upcoming year…

I hope for my life to be calm and enveloping peace. No drama and to stay away from conflicts.

I want to always have new and old friends - the ones I've known forever, the ones I have known for a while, and friends I've only just met.

I wish to move forward, to move on, without dwelling on failures or disappointments or hurt.

I wish to move forward, wisely, sagely. And most importantly, I want to grow older with grace and dignity.

Response to Tag

Many of the Makcik Bloggers have responded to Wanshana’s tag. Guess it’s my turn now and this is so typical of me, keeping things till the last minute. You see this is one bad habit of mine which I have conveniently allowed to breed in me since my student days.

Those days when I studied computer science, assignments came in many different forms and more often than not, the deadlines were crazily cruel to us students. Doing last minute assignments then became my cup of tea. Siap satu, hand in and work on the next one. At times, I even had to do multiples of computer programmes at one go. Ni tak termasuk nak study for quizzes and finals. Berasap kepala….

As such, even till now, I am so, so famous of doing things last minute, thriving on the adrenaline rush to give me that push to produce quality output. I know it irks my bosses most of the time, but when they see the output, they have no complains. And that also explains why at times I am awake all night long completing my work. Lagi lama perap, lagi bagus winenya (in my case, grape juice je lah..heh..heh).

Aduh…what a long intro. Ok, will get to the point now.

No 1 – Yup, I am a true blue procrastinator, would only do things right at the very last minute. Be it road tax renewal, maid application, banking stuffs etc, etc. Just love the adrenaline rush, but now I think I have to take it easy..may not be good for this aging heart.

No 2 – When I first started working, I didn’t have a maid. Did most of the house chores myself. Monday was for cleaning the rooms upstairs, Tuesday was bathroom scrubbing day, Wednesday was ironing day etc, etc. Boy, it was so tiring. One night, when I had to get up to prepare milk for Farah who was then still a baby, I missed calculated my steps and fell bergolek. That was the time when I realized that I needed help in the domestic front. Am definitely not going to kill myself trying to be a super doper house cleaner.

No 3 – Doing a double major in Computer Science and Statistics was a real killer. Wasn’t really my choice, but since I wanted to go study abroad, I was determined to give it a try. Though I think I would have done better if I switched to doing the non sciences. After my undergrad, I continued on to do TESL and training and that was how I got into this educational consultancy line. To give more icing (read: challenge a.k.a headache) to what I am doing now, educational consultancy is combined with IT project management. Confused?? Never mind, I’m pretty baffled myself with this mix combo.



No 4 – I once befriended this punk Mat Salleh chap. Bukan sebab apa, saja je nak test power. In the end, I chickened out when the guy was coming on too strong. Every time he asked me to join him to go see the punk bands playing on campus, I turned him down. In the end he got the message…phew!!! Cannot imagine the looks on my parents faces if I brought the punk home. Nak kena hambat ke apa!!!

No 5 – Before I flew to the States, my late Grandmother left me this one pesanan. She advised me to be selective when getting a life partner. “Kalau boleh biarlah orang kita (orghang Noghori) jugak,” she reminded me. Reason for that was she didn’t want my Mom to be all by herself celebrating Raya. At least, I’d be around if my other siblings were away celebrating Raya at their in laws. Fuhh…jenuh jugak nak mencari guys yang hailed from NS masa in UW dulu. Penat turning guys down upon asking them where they were from and if the answer was not Kuala Pilah or Seremban, I’d have to say, “Errmmm…sorry lah yer, tonight I got assignment to do.” Nasib baik bumped into ABE at a friend’s house and when he said he too was from Seremban, my next line was, “You suku apa?” Another relief was when he told me that he was from a different suku. Wokehh…good, you are my man…heh..heh!!!

No 6 – My pregnancies were all difficult. Morning sickness started from the time the doctor broke me the news that I was knocked out and it would continue till I delivered. I was huge during my pregnancies. All three babies weighed more than 3kg, Faris was 3.89kg, Farah was 3.68kg and Nissa was the biggest, weighing 3.98kg!!

No 7 – I followed strict pantangs when I delivered my two elder children since I stayed at my Mom’s during the confinement period . When it came to Nissa, I broke all the rules during pantang. My bengkung stint was only for two weeks instead of the required (by Mom) 40 days period. That explained the “enlargement” of my you know where….sigh.

No 8 – The up and down of my weight is like a yo-yo. Would like to lose another 5kg if possible. This has been my all time favourite new year resolution. It will again make it in my 2009 list…sigh.

No 9 – I swim pretty well. Started swimming when I was a little girl. The reason why my Dad sent us (TM and I) to swimming classes was because I was FAT. It did help to get me back into shape. I do 20 – 30 laps whenever I’m in the pool. It is also my way of diffusing all the unnecessary stress. So if you see me in the pool, splish splashing like crazy, it would mean that I am dead stressed!!

Ayoo…baru no 9 ka?? Another 7 to go…

No 10 - I taught my kids and ABE how to swim. Faris was the most liat. He said he’d only wanted to get his feet wet. This no compromising swim instructor pulled him into the pool and threw him into the deep end. Lepas tu, terus boleh swim and when he got better, the guard told me that he saw Faris doing triple somersault. Boys are just boys kan…

No 11 – I cannot read maps and often confused between right and left. I’d say left when my hand shows right and vice versa. Most of the time, I’d be the one behind the wheels and ABE would do the map reading.

No 12 – If I can help it, I try to do all my banking on the Internet or via kiosk banking. Malas nak pi start kereta, drive out and go to the bank. If I recall well, I only went to the bank 3 times this year. One time was to transfer money to ASB. The other time was to collect my credit card and I can’t remember what was the third visit for.

No 13 – I’m hopeless at doing housekeeping on my notebook, desktop berselerak. Bila nak buat presentation baru lah nak hide everything.

No 14 – Going the dentist really scares the daylight out of me. But nowadays, I don’t have a choice but drag myself and close my eyes tight till the treatment is over. Read about my dentist visit here.

No 15 – I am actually afraid of cats. Nissa was the one who persuaded me to take Manis and her kitties in. I’m now slowly learning to overcome my fear of felines.

No 16 - Ahhhh finally the last one. Kalau boleh I’d like to retire early, perhaps when I’m 45 (which will be in a few months...) or so. Kalau ikut ke-boringan with the ups and downs at work, rasa esok dah nak retire. But upon checking the bank account, haiyaaaa…..cannot lahhh!!!

Well, there you have it folks. I’m not tagging anyone coz almost everyone in my blog roll has been tagged.