Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mari Belajar Sejarah

Of the many tasks that need my attention at work, this particular one never fails to leave me in chuckles each time after work completion. On random basis, I make checks on a learning portal that we manage. Members of the portal comprise of students from secondary schools, spread through out the country.

Each member of the portal has his or her own member page. At their pages, they are somewhat free to publish any topic of their interest, provided they adhere to the posting guidelines. Although the postings are moderated, and the kids are very aware of this, there would be one or two rascals who would try their luck at testing the moderator’s strict censorship. They post funny jokes which after reading between the lines may have "suggestive" double meanings.

Aihhh…budak-budak sekarang ni, banyak kepandaian they all!!

One naughty rascal is Am**n, age 14, who studies in a reputable school in the East Coast. A bright kid whose passionate interest is technology, Am**n has never failed to give me that “laughter is the best medicine” therapy.

Some time back he posted this article. The title sounded serious but only after reading through, you’d realize how much of an attention seeker this fella was.

Read on….

Kenapa Utara Tanah Melayu Tidak Dapat Dijajah Portugis??


1508:

Afonso de Albuquerque menyampaikan hasratnya kepada Raja Portugis untuk meluaskan pegaruhnya ke Asia Tenggara (Melaka pusat perdagangan Asia Tenggara ketika itu) dan juga laluan penting perdagangan timur barat. Raja Portugis bersetuju untuk menyediakan kemudahan bala tentera 158 biji kapal, 15300 (anggaran) bala tentera.

1509:

Portugis menghantar perisik ke Melaka untuk mengetahui keadaan kekuatan pertahanan di sana.

Oct 1511:

Alfonso berjaya menawan Melaka setelah berhempas pulas melawan 5 pahlawan Melayu terhandal (Hang Tuah, Hang Lekir, Hang Lekiu, Hang Jebat dan Hang Kasturi). Ini adalah mimpi ngeri bagi pihak Alfonso. Untuk menawan Melaka serta berlawan dengan 5 Hang bersaudara, mereka perlu mendapat askar tambahan setelah 15 ribu askarnya terkorban dalam pertempuran selama 6 hari dengan 5 Hang bersaudara..akhirnya dapat juga menawan Melaka setelah hampir kecewa dan putus asa...

1512:

Setahun kemudian Alfonso ingin meluaskan kekuasaannya ke Perlis, Kedah dan P.Pinang, yang ketika itu adalah pusat pegeluaran tebu untuk gula rantau ini...

Feb 1512:

Alfonso menghantar 3 orang perisik ke Perlis, Kedah dan Pulau Pinang untuk mengetahui kekuatan bala tentera di sana. Mengikut sejarah, perisiknya telah ke kedai kopi sekitar untuk mendapat segala maklumat yang diperlukan.

Seminggu selepas itu

Feb 1512:

Perisik balik ke Melaka untuk memberitakan hasil risikan kepada Alfonso. Di bawah adalah perbualan percakapan antara 3 perisik dengan Alfonso yang selama ini cuba disembunyikan dalam buku sejarah...


Perisik 1.2.3: Selamat pagi tuan (sambil bertabik)

Alfonso: Selamat pagi

Perisik 1: Begini lah tuan, lupakan saja niat tuan untuk menawan Perlis, Kedah dan Pulau Pinang

Alfonso: Kenapa!!!? Kuat sangat kah mereka itu..? (dengan nada marah dan bongkak)

Perisik 2: Untuk menawan Melaka yang mempunyai 5 pahlawan terhandal Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat, Hang Kasturi, Hang Lekir dan Hang Lekiu pun kita kehilangan hampir 15 ribu bala tentera, inikan pula kita nak menawan Perlis, Kedah dan P.Pinang yang mempunyai beribu ribu hang.

Perisik 3: Betoi tu tuan...antaranya ialah hang sihat ka, hang buat apa, hang apa habaq, hang lagu mana , hang pi mana, hang kat mana , hang mai sini sat, hang pi makan ka, hang toksah bohong, bapak hang, pak metua hang, mak hang, adik hang, tok hang dan macam macam lagi hang ada kat sana.....

Mendengar hasil risikan itu Alfonso pun tak jadi nak pi serang disebabkan pengalamannya sebelum ini bersama 5 pahlawan Melayu Melaka amat ngeri......ini kan pula nak berhadapan beribu ribu hang kat situ. Tak berani wehhh…..

I'm pretty sure Am**n must have copied this some where from the Internet. And how do I know that?? Besides asking Uncle Google and getting the answer, Am**n has this poster next to his Avatar.

(errr...I question myself too at times, am I not like Am**n??)

12 comments:

Cik Puan Kamil said...

He deserves an A for Bravery and for Cheekiness kak Kay... ha ha

Kak Ezza@makcik Blogger said...

Hang tu pulak tak tido ka malam tadi...

loyar buruk betul budak ni..hahahaa

mamasita said...

Budak Am**n ni Hang Katun rupanya..You pulak Hang Ketawa!
Kitaorang Hang Berdekah2!

busymum100 said...

Hahaha!! A good one!

And Hang Sembang At Kay's kini berwajah baru ya? ;-)

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Hang him Aunty Kay!

Hanging on,
Angelina

tireless mom said...

The kid must have got it from one of the internet jokes. I also have read this somewhere where Alfonso Alburquque chickened one untuk memerintah Northern states because banyak sangat hang, pak hang, mak hang, abang hang, adik hang... The power of internet.

kay_leeda said...

Dear Cik Puan Kamil,

You know this posting of his did make it pass the moderator's scissors. Yes, in person this boy is very,very cheeky!! Tau-tau je lah...hormones tgh haywire :)

kay_leeda said...

Kak Ezza,

Malam tu I had a lot on my mind. Work related matters lah, what else. Staying up and writing the post was my therapy..pas tu dah penat lenaaa je tidooooo :)

kay_leeda said...

Dear Mamasita,

Ha ah lah...Hang pa semua...
Sedang cari Hang Li Po...mana dia agak nya???

kay_leeda said...

Dear Busymom100,

Iyaa laaa...Sembang ni wajah baru semperna tahun baru :)

Hang bila nak ajak mai rumah baru?? (Saja nooo...gurau-gurau..)

kay_leeda said...

Dear Cat-in-Sydney,

Alrite, I'll hang him in the well, let's see if he could hang on long :)

Me also hanging onto jokes by Am**m to keep me goin' :)

kay_leeda said...

Dear TM,

Yes...it was a joke from one of the online lawak channels. This one we rate as PG13. There are some Rs from him. Huh...I wonder if these kids actually catch the "real" joke.