Udah Sampei......

Yesterday, I received a text message from Bibik's daughter, Ros in Lampung, informing me that her mother has arrived home safely. According to Ros, Bibik didn't manage to get a flight from Jakarta to Bandar Lampung as there was none available on the same day she arrived. Left with no choice, she took the taxi (known as "travel" over there) back to her kampung. It's a longggggg journey, almost 24 hours of travel time from Jakarta to Bandar Lampung.

Nissa is slowly adjusting to the present situation at home. I spend some time to see her off to school in the morning and she's absolutely pleased with this arrangement. It was only on the first night that she was rather down. When I checked on her that night, I saw her buried under her pillow, sobbing away. She was heart-broken I could see. A big hug came from me, calmed her down and we chatted about why Bibik had to leave. Alhamdulillah....she understood everything that was explained to her and able to come to terms with the change.

She asked me to post a nice picture of her and Bibik in the blog and help her to express her feelings about Bibik's departure.

This is for you Nissa...cheer up and always know that we all love you so very much.

Never realized
How lonely it would be
when the day came
and you went away

You said good bye
How my heart ached
I tried hard not to cry
But memories of you
Will guide me thru’

Farewell Bibik..... : - (

Kasmiaton bt Kasimun, that was the name typed in the maid biodata form sent to me by an agent in Pekan Baru. It sounded Javanese and our call to the agent afterwards confirmed it. Her picture with an apron on looked kinda funny and she had that awkward smile too. Well, what would one expect of a “petani” trying to look her level best like a professional domestic help.

We had no choice as that was the only "decent" biodata sent to us. Being the desperados that we were, we just had to make that gamble and take in this elderly woman as our maid. And that was how it all began. Seven years ago, sometime in early 2002 Bibik Kasmiaton became a member of our family.

Bibik’s first commitment test came when Nissa was down with high fever and was hospitalized at SJ*C. Nissa was only 1plus then and was a real cling on every time she was not well. That was also the time when I just started work in the organization that I am now. My preschool project was just commencing and there was no way that I could be away from the office for a long period of time. So Bibik was my savior. She attended to Nissa night and day till she was discharged. I was running to and fro, office – hospital – home like a mad person checking on both of them. Alhamdulillah we survived that trying times and of course Bibik was a major contributor at putting things under control.

Me sharing with TM what it would be like when Bibik is not around

So that’s how it has been in my household…it’s Bibik here, Bibik there, Bibik this and Bibik that. So much so Mom said that she doesn’t know how I will cope when Bibik is not around. Bibik cooks, does the ironing, cleans the house, walks Nissa to sekolah, goes to the market on weekends…the list is endless, the chores she did for the Zs household. She was in fact still ironing Abe’s work shirt last night, after she finished packing her own stuffs. She still fussed about everyone not eating enough at Sahur just now, hours before she was due to depart. Well, that’s Bibik…always putting US first before her own self.

The four Bibiks in the family. With Bibik Kasmiaton leaving, only three left. Sulastri (first from left) is Bibik's replacement. She's also Bibik's daughter in law.

After she returned from the holidays last year, she told us that it was time for her to call it quit, her tenure as a domestic help. She said, “Saya sudah tua. Badan udah penat. Saya usaha di rumah saja lah.” I knew this was coming someday. I couldn’t keep her forever in my house, no matter how much I wanted to. She’s bound to return to her family one day. I negotiated with her on her return date. After sitting down to discuss matters, we both agreed that she goes back before Eid. Bibik was elated, but I was devastated. However, I know I have to let go….no matter how painful.

Bibiks and the anak-anak

As I write this posting, Bibik is already on the plane, somewhere above Malaysia’s air space still and in less than an hour and a half, she’d touch down at Bandara Soekarno Hatta Jakarta. From there on, she'll continue her journey to her kampung in Lampung. She had gone round to say her good bye to her friends and our neighbours yesterday. My sisters and family also dropped by yesterday to meet her and it was very much to her delight. I know deep down she was not expecting anything, she just wanted to be appreciated.

I promised myself not to be teary when she leaves. But I just can’t help it. In the car before we left for LCCT she had this to say, “Assalamualaikum….tinggal ya rumah. Bibik balik dulu ya. Selamat tinggal Malaysia.” I turned away when tears welled my eyes; hoping no one would notice the sudden burst of emotions.

Merci...desperately seeking Bibik this morning.

Now back at home it still feels like she is walking around doing this and that. It is going to take a while for all of us to adapt to Bibik not being around us. We will surely miss her nasi briyani, asam laksa, roti jala, just to mention a few plus all the other juadah she has mastered at preparing for us.

To Bibik I have this to say.

Hanya Tuhan sahaja yang dapat membalas jasa baik Bibik kepada kami sekeluaga. Terima kasih kerana Bibik telah menyinari hidup kami selama ini. Kami doakan agar Bibik sentiasa dirahmati Allah, diberikan kesihatan yang baik, dikurniakan murah rezeki dan panjang umur hendaknya. Semoga Bibik juga gembira berada disamping keluarga.

Selamat Hari Raya Bibik dan Maaf Zahir Batin dari kami semua.

Read how Bibik started in the Zs household here.

Bibik-less in Shah Alam - Part 1

It’s day 4 today, the house is quiet and less buzzing. Reason to this is, WE now have no Bibik fussing over the dirty laundry or pacing up down in the kitchen to prepare our daily meals. Thus, stamping us with the bibik-less status.

Last Wednesday, we sent Bibik off at the airport for her slightly more than a month leave, her much needed tour of duty leave. That was also the reason why we had to rush all the relevant papers to get her work permit done. Without the renewed passport and work permit, she wouldn’t be able to go and come back to work after her leave.

If my memory serves me well, Bibik Kasmiatun is our 12th maid. She first came to work with us when Nissa was about a year old. After a series of lousy and nerve wrecking maids, she was like heaven sent to us. I was apprehensive when she first walked into our home. The previous one before her stayed for only a little longer than a month. One day back from work, I found a letter in the mail box, with these words written on the envelope – “Adinda ku……”

I was furious upon seeing the mail, all sealed in floral envelope. I could have sworn that the letter was written on scented writing tablets. (Cheh…pandai je maid ni nak main cinta, dia tak tau majikan dia ni DUA tahun dok menulis surat chenta., segala cards and scented writing paper kita tau…so tak payah lah nak cover line!!)

I know it’s bad to read letters which are not ours. But in this case I just had to do it, for the best interest of my family. True enough my guess wasn’t wrong, it was a letter sent by her husband who was in Indonesia. In that letter, he had told her that he was coming to Malacca to work in a farm and she was run away when he gave her the cue to do so. I shivered upon reading the last line. Just imagine, if I had passed the letter to her and she would have been able to plan for her escape!!! And what was to happen to my children? Left home alone to fend for themselves. Ohh…tidak…no way you are going to get to do this!! Over my dead body, woman!!

In just two days I sent her packing, cancelled all her papers and put her in a boat back to Dumai. I called the maid agent there and told him to collect her at the Dumai ferry terminal. And that was the end of maid number 11.

Since number 11 didn’t serve the two years contract, I demanded that my agent give me a replacement. He told me I had to wait a little while as he didn’t have any candidates at that time. Okay…but you’d better have one coming my way soon, and that was an order.

We chose this old lady from the rest of the candidates showed to us. In her passport, her age was written as 39 years old. Nahh..I knew it wasn’t her real age. These agents can be unscrupulous at times and the age they put in the form is usually not the “asli” one.

When Bibik Kasmiaton first started work, I had to teach her a lot of things. She didn’t have much working experience as previously she was only a farmer back home in Lampung, Sumatera. She told us that her ladang was destroyed when the crickets ate all her cash crop. It wasn’t easy for her to switch from a farmer to a domestic maid. I had to show her how to mop the house, clean the bathroom, use the washing machine, and the other electrical appliances. It was a trying time for me too. At times I’d call up my Mom and tell her how slow my maid is. But Mom said to just be patient, InshaAllah, this woman will work out for me.

And there I was, a very patient maid trainer. At one point I almost gave up, the Bibik just wasn’t learning as fast as I had wanted her to. She still missed that one spot that needed extra scrubbing in the bathroom. Even after telling her many times, she still didn’t get my message.

Fuhh….apalagi hangat lah Ibuk ni. I remember one morning when I told her off.

I said, “Kalau Bibik tak boleh kerja ikut cara saya, hah boleh balik Indon. Siapa majikan sini? Saya atau Bibik? Kalau saya majikan, saya mau pembantu rumah ikut yang saya cakap!!”

And I did raise my voice at her that time, iyer lah…dah hangat kan.

I thought that was it, I’d soon see her packing her bags and wailing to have us send her home. I observed her in the following days. Very much to my surprise, she changed!!! She began to do things the way I asked her to and she even apologized for what all her kesilapan. What a relief it was for me. And Moi, the garang majikan, learned a few good lessons myself, one of it was that I am to be less fussy, and definitely to be more patient – lots and loads of the honorable trait.

And that was the new beginning of Bibik Kasmiatun's long tenure with us.