First Subuh

The soft morning breeze presented us with an astounding feeling as we walked towards the entrance to the Prophet’s mosque in Madinah. Though it was only 3.30 in the morning, the place was so much alive. I could almost hear the pitter patter of my heart, as I paced faster to the mosque.

“I’m back, dear God. I’m setting foot in your holy mosque again.” Syukur…syukur alhamdulillah.

Distance between our hotel and the mosque was about 150 meters. Farah with her long strides got there the fastest. I got her to slow down a bit, and be on a constant close watch of her grandmother.

The security checks at the entrance was tight. There was already a group being stopped and checked by the lady guards.

“Let them check your bag,” I told Farah, “Open it and allow them to check what’s inside.” It wasn’t just the bags, they even did random body checks. They were just doing their duties so I wasn’t going to make a fuss. I had earlier left my hand phone in the room. It’s ibadat time, so let’s just concentrate on that for the time being.

The moment I stepped into the mosque, the feeling was indescribable. I felt sad, yet there was a certain calmness inside me. I turned to Farah and reminded her to niat iktikaf in the mosque. “Besar pahala beriktikaf in this mosque.” I was merely echoing words of Mom to me the first time I made my presence in the same mosque years ago.

We headed into the prayer hall. Again I turned to Farah and told her to perform her solat tahiyatul masjid. All three of us then went about with our solats. From taubat to tahajjud to hajat and closing it with witir, all I wanted to do was to sujud and do nothing else but bersujud kepada Nya. Ada ketikanya, airmata berlingan dengan sendirinya. Ya Allah, ampuni lah hamba mu yang alpa ini. Ya Allah, terimalah taubat ku ini. Ya Allah engkau permudahkan lah dan lapangkan lah jalan kami untuk melakukan ibadah kami ini.

Just as I completed my witir, the sound of the call for prayers, the azan reverberates through the large mosque complex. Subhanallah….how it called to awaken the soul, to open one’s mind, eyes and ears.

The Imam recited verses from Surah An-Nisa (if I was not wrong at guessing) during the two rakaats of the subuh prayers. Again, verse after verse arrowed at me. From the little Arabic that I was able to comprehend, I could feel the significance of the verses read, so apt to us - the all girls (nisa means girl in Arabic) team.

After the subuh prayers, I wanted to read the Quran for a while and Mom wasn’t too eager about rushing with the massive crowd exiting the mosque. So we stayed on. I leaned against one of the big pillars. Ahhh how reposeful it felt and how unruffled was the mind, body and soul.