Garden of Paradise

We were informed at breakfast that the itinerary for that day was the ziarah luar of the Prophet’s mosque. I asked if Mom wanted to follow the group. It would mean walking for some distance around the mosque. The mutawif would show us the significant places within the compounds of the holy mosque.

Mom said she was not up to the walking. I kind of expected that answer from her. The last time when we did this ritual together at Haj, I saw how it took a toll on her physical state. I was okay with not doing the ziarah luar. But I wasn’t too sure with Farah. Upon checking her later, she too indicated that she was not keen to walk around the mosque, not under the hot Madinah summer sun.

So we decided to do our own ibadat program. Mom said it would be best if we try do the ziarah to Makam Rasullullah (saw) instead. Of course, both Farah and I were so looking forward to it.

Breakfast at the Dallah Taibah Hotel was scrumptious. Since I’m very much a bread person, I had no complaints about the spread. Never mind if there wasn’t any nasi lemak or nasi goreng like back home, as long as there’s bread I know I’d be fine. We took our time at breakfast and started to mingle around with the other jemaahs. This was the other thing I enjoyed about the trip. We made new friends and even met some long lost orang kampong. Beginilah significant nya acara ibadat ini. Thus, I guess that’s why it is something which is so much dituntut by the religion.

View of Masjidil Nabawi

After breakfast, we got ready for our ziarah makam. Got our wuduk and we took the lift down and headed towards the mosque again. Mom who’s been here many times told us to be prepared, for the place would be crowded and you’ll never know what could happen in there.

There are three timings for visiting Makam Rasullullah (saw) for women. We got into the Makam area in no time. Even though there were groups waiting to go closer, they were not given permission by the lady guards there. By then, my heart was beating so fast. I took out my doa book and started to read doas and verses from the pages which I had marked earlier. Tears started to roll as I got closer to the Makam area. We said our salam to Rasulllullah (saw) and para sahabat Abu Bakar and Umar. We also sampaikan salams of friends and acquaintances who had asked to do so.

Shades to protect from the glare and sun

It takes a lot of patience and physical will to be in the Makam area. The ultimate destination was the area of where the white pillars were located – the Garden of Paradise, the Raudah. Inside the Ruadah, there were women from different ethnicities, speaking different languages, all gathered in this place for one reason: the love of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

The rest of the ladies around us were much bigger than us. Some were pretty aggressive as they tried to inch to the Raudah area. Some pushed their way to the front whilst the smaller ones like us had to give way to them. Despite the pushing and rushing, each one of these ladies looked with love to one another, with tears filling their eyes. Praising and thanking God for enabling them to stand in this blessed place.

Alhamdulillah, we managed to inch ourselves to the front. Mom squeezed in between the big ladies and managed to push Farah all the way to the front. Very quickly she told Farah to perform her solat sunat. Space was so limited, Farah could hardly rukuk or sujud had she tried to pray the normal way. Instead, she opted to do her solat sitting down, at that little small space she had secured. My heart gave in when I saw her so calm and peacefully doing her solat, oblivious of the commotion created by the crowd behind her. She must have performed like two or three times of the solat sunat. After her solat, she did her doa and then she stood up and walked to make way for the person behind her to do exactly what she had done earlier. Mom who was seated on her right did her solat too and I who was on her left, then completed my solat and doa at the Raudah area.

Mahabesar Allah, Maha mulia Rasulullah, Alhamdulillah diperkenankan permintaan ku. Semoga Allah SWT mengabulkan, semoga Rasulullah menolong. Sesungguhnya Rasulullah yang mencintai umatnya melebihi dirinya. Subhanallah.

Salam dan salawat buat Mu ya junjungan, jadikan hamba umat Mu sebagaimana Kau rintihkan menjelang maut menjemput ke rumah.

Engkau berkatil lah, umatMu, pengikutMu.
Masukkan hamba ke golongan yang Kau cinta Ya Rasulullah.

It didn’t seem fair to be spending too much time to oneself, as there were still others wanting to do so. My heart felt heavy leaving the Raudah area. How I wished I had spent more time there. Mom said way back in the 80s when she did umrah with my late father and sisters, the place was empty. So much so they could sit there and recite the Yassin!! Now, you’d be lucky if you could do a two rakaat. Tak pe lah, itu memang dah rezeki masing-masing.

Once finished, we moved to the less crowded area. I did a few more solats and said lots of doas. As I sujud, tears welled up and just rolled. Didn’t know why I was feeling so sayu, but that was just how I felt naturally.

We must have spent like a whole hour at the Makam and Ruadah area. It felt good and so rewarding. As a servant, you put your forehead at the lowest point that you could. Asking for forgiveness and raising our hands praying to God to forgive our sins and asking Him to grant them our wishes in this life and the Hereafter.

We were rather quiet as we completed solats and doas and walked to the exit area of the Makam and Raudah areas. I thank God Almighty for paving the way and making it easier for us ladies to experience this significant moments.

When opened these shades gave that umbrella effect to the whole place

Once done, we headed out and at the door, we could see the sun was already up and bright. “Time to head to the hotel,” I told Mom and Farah. And that was what all three of us did. Penat and feeling as if we had completed the Ironman competition, we got our neatly wrapped slippers and headed straight back to our hotel. It was only 7.30 in the morning, but it felt like we had achieved a world. Subahanallah….God is Great.

First Subuh

The soft morning breeze presented us with an astounding feeling as we walked towards the entrance to the Prophet’s mosque in Madinah. Though it was only 3.30 in the morning, the place was so much alive. I could almost hear the pitter patter of my heart, as I paced faster to the mosque.

“I’m back, dear God. I’m setting foot in your holy mosque again.” Syukur…syukur alhamdulillah.

Distance between our hotel and the mosque was about 150 meters. Farah with her long strides got there the fastest. I got her to slow down a bit, and be on a constant close watch of her grandmother.

The security checks at the entrance was tight. There was already a group being stopped and checked by the lady guards.

“Let them check your bag,” I told Farah, “Open it and allow them to check what’s inside.” It wasn’t just the bags, they even did random body checks. They were just doing their duties so I wasn’t going to make a fuss. I had earlier left my hand phone in the room. It’s ibadat time, so let’s just concentrate on that for the time being.

The moment I stepped into the mosque, the feeling was indescribable. I felt sad, yet there was a certain calmness inside me. I turned to Farah and reminded her to niat iktikaf in the mosque. “Besar pahala beriktikaf in this mosque.” I was merely echoing words of Mom to me the first time I made my presence in the same mosque years ago.

We headed into the prayer hall. Again I turned to Farah and told her to perform her solat tahiyatul masjid. All three of us then went about with our solats. From taubat to tahajjud to hajat and closing it with witir, all I wanted to do was to sujud and do nothing else but bersujud kepada Nya. Ada ketikanya, airmata berlingan dengan sendirinya. Ya Allah, ampuni lah hamba mu yang alpa ini. Ya Allah, terimalah taubat ku ini. Ya Allah engkau permudahkan lah dan lapangkan lah jalan kami untuk melakukan ibadah kami ini.

Just as I completed my witir, the sound of the call for prayers, the azan reverberates through the large mosque complex. Subhanallah….how it called to awaken the soul, to open one’s mind, eyes and ears.

The Imam recited verses from Surah An-Nisa (if I was not wrong at guessing) during the two rakaats of the subuh prayers. Again, verse after verse arrowed at me. From the little Arabic that I was able to comprehend, I could feel the significance of the verses read, so apt to us - the all girls (nisa means girl in Arabic) team.

After the subuh prayers, I wanted to read the Quran for a while and Mom wasn’t too eager about rushing with the massive crowd exiting the mosque. So we stayed on. I leaned against one of the big pillars. Ahhh how reposeful it felt and how unruffled was the mind, body and soul.